RRRRR! It's cold.
BScrub that, it is absolutely freezing. The snow that came last week has outstayed its welcome and there are threats of more.
Of course, it caused all kinds of chaos. People could fake rolex not get into work, schools were closed, supermarket shelves were stripped bare of essentials and Hollyoaks had to halt filming.
But, worst of all, the cold snap has totally wrecked my style.
It would appear that, like Sefton Park Lake, my fashion mojo totally freezes up once the mercury drops below zero.
I have tried to make some adjustments, but it is not going well.
The stilettos were the first to go. Even I know that five-inch heels and icy pavements do not cosy bedfellows make.
So out went the shoes and in came the snowboots (they're actually Uggs, but revealing that would have ruined the alliteration).
I needn't have bothered.
Less than an hour after leaving home for the first time during the big freeze, I was still prostrate on the pavement.
My biggest problem seems to be the fact that around 85% of my wardrobe is far from suited to these Arctic temperatures.
It's not just packed with limo shoes - shoes so high you have to be taken everywhere by limousine - but limo clothes, too.
I own just two pairs of trousers that are suitable for work and can barely spell Berghaus, never mind bring myself to wear one of their jackets.
I own some hats - but they tend to come from Philip Treacy, rather rolex fake than The North Face.
I do own gloves, so I suppose that is something. But I am loath to buy anything thermal because ... do I really need to give a reason why? I have come to the conclusion that the words warm and stylish do not belong in the same sentence.
Don't get me wrong - there is some gorgeous knitwear out there but a Stella McCartney sweater-dress and a pair of thick, ribbed tights are far from adequate clothing when you are standing on a railway platform at temperatures of minus 12. Believe me, I tried it.
At the weekend, things got so bad that I was forced to adopt a substance over style approach which resulted in a trip to Asda wearing leggings, jeans, bedsocks, wellies, a polo neck, a jumper, my husband's beanie (!) and a gilet which has not made it out of the wardrobe since 2004 - aka the Sienna Miller years.
Thankfully, no-one saw me. Noone I know anyway.
embroidered patches If the weather doesn't start to improve soon, I am not sure what I will do.
There appear to be only two options on the cards: either I invest in a Chanel ski suit la Victoria Beckham or I employ a driver.
I wonder which would be cheapest?
Other articles:
http://www.mymonastory.com/blog/view/id_102/title_police-hunt-knifemen/http://www.1jiankong.com/Blog/View/?374http://www.whmh.net.cn/Blog/View/?989
